Weird, contemplative thing I wrote a few weeks ago to try and ground myself while having a very rough day/week. Also, I’ve been using my black cat, Javier, for a lot of featured images lately; I’ll try and have a bit more of Roy in the weeks to come to even things out.
You do not drink alcohol. Drinking alcohol is expensive and unpleasant. You don’t like the way it tastes or the way it makes you feel and you really, really, really wish other people didn’t enjoy it so much because then there wouldn’t be the expectation that you should, too. Much like coffee, you only enjoy alcohol if it has so much sugar dumped into it that it barely resembles its original form. Alcohol tastes like liquid fire and coffee tastes like battery acid and you are so sensitive to everything. You should just chug grenadine and butterscotch syrup and call it a day except that even sugar doesn’t taste good lately.
At least coffee smells nice. Not as nice as tea. Tea, taken straight, occasionally with honey for sickness, is nice. Weird-flavored leaf water. Pomegranate black tea and its less flashy cousin pomegranate green tea is in your desk along with an unholy mixture of herbal teas shoved together in an old protein oatmeal box.
Soda is gross but also nice, sometimes, except for when it’s not. Indecisive on that one. You prefer diet soda at this point to the real thing.
You went to a soda museum semi-recently (it’s probably been months) and it horrified you how incredibly jovially evil that company is. The smiling assertions while they blacken their consumers’ teeth, never mind everything else it does.
Tea can stain your teeth, too, of course. Your hands turn so cold in the library even though it’s the hottest it’s ever been in the history of any time ever outside. Pressing them to your mug of tea warms up the inside of your fingers. You still scrape the remains of ice cream from the carton no one in the office has the heart to throw away in the freezer despite the cold. And then you take a couple of bites and it is so so gross. You let it melt and you do not drink the remains like snowmelt in dirt because it is sugar-sludge gross in your mug. Dumping it down the sink and rinsing it with water leaves some level of satisfaction.
The mugs are unwashed this week. There’s a wall of psychic energy stopping you. It’s very stupid. They languish, mostly-tea-stained. It’s a gross habit, letting them sit like that, but here you are.
You’ve had a few energy drinks lately. At least they don’t need cups. They aren’t as costly as alcohol, not by a meandering, hill-filled country mile, but they’re still expensive. Same with the diet soda.
There’s no one but yourself to blame for the energy drinks. At the gym there’s a refrigerator with a sign that says “Thirst Aid Kit” over the energy drinks and you think it’s funny every time and you congratulate yourself on not buying anything from them yet.
You haven’t thought about water even though you drink it constantly. Why haven’t you?