Writing Wednesdays | Pseudo-Journal Entry #2 | 5/3/2023

I’ll be real, this is a little bit “stream of consciousness 2 AM purple prose gobbledygook.” It’s also somewhat inspired by the unfiltered nature of posts made by Kate Elizabeth Russell’s newsletter girl journal. I won’t flatter myself by saying that this is anywhere near as poetical as her work but it was on my mind.

I’m trying a new mouthwash, medicine to counteract other medicine. When I lick my lips it’s like my tongue drags across half-dried glue. It looks fine but it feels gross. I drink gallons of water and I don’t notice the difference until I go an hour or two without it and then it’s a desert in my mouth. But I don’t think about dying over minor inconveniences anymore so that’s a definite plus.

I still need things to ground me. I need barbed wire hooking into my flesh and keeping me still (except that the barbed wire is actually roses and it looks pretty even if it’s harmful). That way I’ll be twisted up enough that I stay in one place, at least in theory.

It helps if the Thing is samey. Even better if it’s different versions of the same thing over and over again. I’d like the sundae to have caramel one day and fudge the next and something wild like boysenberry syrup the day after that but the same whipped cream and three flavors and bananas underneath.

Comparing and contrasting was my preferred style of essay in school. Here is the version of my current favorite thing from decades ago and here’s the remake and here’s the remake of the remake and here’s the spinoff where the budget was in the low hundreds but the heart was in the thousands and that actor who was never seen or heard from again gave it his all.

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